Creativity and Pain

Mar 28, 2007 | 10:28 AM PST
Tags: Dawn Akemi, Hammer, lizriz, films, art, film, OTL, on the lot, drama
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Our Western mode of thinking pushes us to believe that we are entitled to a comfortable life. I would like to put forth that comfortable is boring. Comfortable is unchallenging. There are no mysteries to comfortability, no discoveries.

The lifestyle on the edge (on the fringes of mainstream society, in an uncomfortable zone) is the beauty of being an artist. I love it. Artists, by the nature of their work, live apart from the malaise of our cultural narcotic.

Videowilliams has a couple of terrific blog threads expressing the pain of his creative process, his own lack of comfort. I feel this myself. Perhaps being an artist is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. We embrace the pain, not because we're masochists, but because it is part of process, part of growth, part of learning.

Creativity (to create, creation) is a birthing phenomenon. It is messy and painful. Art is the act of bringing forth something from nothing, or perhaps from the seed of an idea....a fertilized egg. It is magic.

I posted this on Videowilliams blog because I found its wisdom to be a balm to my fear when pain is particularly acute (all of "The Prophet" is amazing). I want to share it here too:

On Pain
--Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

 

Member Comments: 75

 

lauraU visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 10:55 AM PST

On being on the fringe:

Hunger forces me to think in new ways about how I consume food... Hi Dawn!
:-D

elindstrom visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 10:58 AM PST

I just had to say "wassup?" since two of my favorite OTL ladies are here at the same time! So ... wazzup?

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:10 AM PST

Hi Laura...working with in a limited budget is a very creative process ;-)

Hi Eric...you flatterer you!!!

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 11:12 AM.

BradJacques visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:26 AM PST

"Art is not safe" - Rob Zombie

STEWIE visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:26 AM PST

The Prophet is my all time favorite book.

Ive owned and given away about 6 copies since 1993.

I think I love Dawn. :D


you might dig some of the blogs I wrote on this very same thing last week.

lauraU visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:28 AM PST

Hi Eric -xxxooo

Dawn - a limited budget implies I have money...it's more like creative poverty at this point. I just cashed in four years of savings to pay for my phone bill and the debt owed for my wedding dress...I have $30 in savings, no job, mounting debt, bills to pay, oh yeah and a wedding to afford...looks like I'll be the best dressed eloped bride in Vegas.

Pericles visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:29 AM PST

Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant!

I have always said that while in production if you are not in agony, then it isn't going well. 8-)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:37 AM PST

Hi BradJacques....I love Rob Zombie...and White Zombie!

xoxo to Stewie! I'll check out your blog ;-)

Shucks Laura, sounds like your really having to be creative! Sorry for your money woes. But I believe its temporary....you're one of the most resourceful people I know!!!

And you'll not only be the best dressed eloped bride, but the best looking. We need to get together soon and catch up!!!

Norton visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:38 AM PST

So brilliant I'd write a book about it 8-/

lauraU visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:38 AM PST

Hey Dawn did you know that The Insanities have a short here on the site? you can find it through my profile.

It's their sketch Scatman, directed by David (Dahveed) Kolodny-Nagy and it features some of David's animation.

EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK IT OUT - I produced it!

Last edited by lauraU on March 28th at 11:39 AM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:40 AM PST

Peri!!! Somehow I knew you'd relate to this blog ;-)

Oh!....the exhilaration of agony!

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 11:53 AM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 11:43 AM PST

Hi Norton....Welcome!

Yeah, Laura...I went to The Insanities website but haven't seen their short. I'll go look at now. Rock on Daron and Ian!!!! :-D

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 11:53 AM.

yojimbo visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 12:42 PM PST

"Creativity (to create, creation) is a birthing phenomenon. It is messy and painful. Art is the act of bringing forth something from nothing, or perhaps from the seed of an idea....a fertilized egg. It is magic."

Dear Dawn, you could not get more acute than this, furthermore it is superbly surreal that both myself and Slappy were having a dilaog discussing this earlier today :)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:10 PM PST

Hi Yojimbo...Welcome!

Wow...that is cool....I love serendipity!

;-)

cici visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:27 PM PST

Dawn, I ADORE you!

(And Khalil Gibran is the shizz-nit.)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:34 PM PST

Cici....I'm so honored that you visit my humble little blog....Oh woman who is listed on the community page as the most popular blog tag!

I feel like I have to buy a special pass to sit at your lunch table :-D

cici visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:44 PM PST

Holy CRAP!!
When did THAT happen???

BLEEP, that Pericles is smart coming up with that idea!

Special pass my ASS...I'd be the one following YOU around meekly asking for an autograph! Then, I'd track you home and peek through your windows with binoculars just to feel closer to you. (...you think I'm kidding...)

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:46 PM PST

Wow, DawnAlchemy, you just struck oil with this theme! Can our fellow creatives relate to it or what? I love being quoted (you flatterer you). Almost as much as I love quoting others...

In "This Is Orson Welles", the Fat Man tells Peter Bogdanovich:

"I think it's the duty of the artist to seek out the point of maximum discomfort."

Director James Cameron has said:

"I hate sleeping: it's such a waste of time. Except when I have a good nightmare. I love a good nightmare. Then I get something I can use."

And my screenwriting mentor once gave me a printout that said:

"As writers we must..."

Oh hell, I can't remember the d@mn quote, but you can guess what it said. Same idea. Find the places in yourself where it hurts most and dig... Or as they say in weightlifting:

NO PAIN, NO GAIN

...Thumbscrooz, anyone?

Last edited by videowilliams on March 28th at 1:48 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 1:50 PM PST

And hey, congratulations, cici. Most popular blog tag, huh? It looks like you're the shizz-nit now!

Last edited by videowilliams on March 28th at 1:57 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:21 PM PST

I do think you're kidding Cici :-D

But in the event your not...What a deal!!!! I'd have my one fan, a stalker, and paparazzi all rolled up into an amazingly popular and adorable slantee sistah!!!

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 2:25 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:25 PM PST

DawnAlchemy....I'll take it. I now have a back up name should DawnAkemi develop a miserable reputation, or something.

I used the mantra No pain, no gain....but I was runner training for the Honolulu marathon back in my teenage years....which was only a couple a years ago....or so....

:-D

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:30 PM PST

Wow, that makes you one precocious 21 year old. No wonder your stalker's only 12!

cici visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:44 PM PST

DawnAlchemy!!! Coolest name EVER!!!

You guys are so good with words...and thoughts...and pain...

As for me, stalking Dawn fills me with JOY.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:45 PM PST

I think my emotional maturity might be 21 years old. ;-)

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 2:50 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 2:49 PM PST

We'll find joy together, Cici, when we finally get to go on that drinking binge!!!

Martinis anyone?

cici visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 3:00 PM PST

OH! A joyous Martini binge with DawnAlchemy!!!
How wonderful!!

And then the next morning, we could enjoy the sweet, sweet pain of the hangover. Our artistry will be complete.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 3:06 PM PST

Ah, there's something about two women getting it on...

...Oops, did I say that out loud? I meant:

I'm glad you're such good friends.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 3:12 PM PST

Cici...we have to do the sausage and eggs and hashbrowns and pancakes breakfast too, to absorb the alcohol ;-)

Yes...I need to look at a hangovers as an extension of my growth as an artist!

I think Dave is hinting at joining us for martinis!

Now wouldn't that be something. Between the three of us, we're half the earth apart.

Virtual martinis anyone?

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 3:13 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 3:26 PM PST

Yes, please.

Shaken, not stirred.

Last edited by videowilliams on March 28th at 4:59 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 4:10 PM PST

I'm afraid I can't think of any witty "shaken, not stirred" quips to amuse the masses.

Now, if you throw in a swizzle stick....well, the sky is the limit.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 4:20 PM PST

Bottoms up!

veenotph visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 7:05 PM PST

There is also the pain of growth, letting go.
To keep complete control is to kill.
As when hitting a baseball, grip the bat too tight, and you deaden the ball. In archery the goal is to let the pull on the string (never the arrow) keep the bow in your hand. When you release the string, the bow releases, pulling the string forward. The arrow rides the string forward. If you hold the bow tighter than just enough pressure to keep from flying out of your hand as the energy rushes forward, you will deaden the arrow and it will not fly straight or far. It is a skill that takes practice, and is usually the last thing mastered, though it ought to be the first. The release is the most important, and when accepting that you have labored to create, accepting that you must release it frees you from pain.

Writing my script, at some point I had to just let it go where it would, and then it became painless and easy, and wrote itself.

veenotph visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 7:11 PM PST

Or another way of looking at it is the death contest as boy/girl becomes Man/Woman. In modern societies you don't have the actual contest, all that is left is the ritual. So as adults we have a society that is still filled with children in adult bodies. So it is with the pain of creation. It is childish to need to be in complete control, looking to get it exactly perfectly right. therein lies the pain. The conflict with creating, breathing chaos into the universe, and wanting to contain that chaos. At cross purposes, and limiting. Create, bring chaos, begin. After creation give that chaos shape and guidance. Much less painful. No contesting with childish wants and needs interfering with creation.
:-)

Steven

cici visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 8:26 PM PST

Steven! That was great!!!
I do believe it is possible to create with less pain. There can be moments in the creative process that feel more like rushes of inspiration, where ideas can come quickly and almost effortlessly...then afterwards, like you said, you can go back and "give that chaos shape and guidance."

Unfortunately, those rushes of inspiration often come during drunken Martini parties and the ideas are usually forgotten by the time the sausage-egg-hashbrown-pancake breakfast is eaten. But fun is still had by all.

Dawn and Dave, You mentioned "shaken," "bottoms up," and "swizzle sticks." There's a dirty drunken joke in there somewhere.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 8:38 PM PST

Hi Steven....Your comments remind me of "Zen in the Art of Archery" (which I love!) where Eugen Herrigel explains,

"In the case of archery, the hitter and the hit are no longer two opposing objects, but are one reality. The archer ceases to be conscious of himself as the one who is engaged in hitting the bull's-eye which confronts him. This state of unconscious is realized only when, completely empty and rid of the self, he becomes one with the perfecting of his technical skill, though there is in it something of a quite different order which cannot be attained by any progressive study of the art..."

I do think that creativity is a very complicated process, of which the letting go of control issues is a part.

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 8:55 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 28, 2007 | 9:29 PM PST

Of course, it is true, as Steven and Cici point out that the creative process doesn't have to resemble being boiled in oil. I love that feeling of creative flow. This brings to mind another book called "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Excellent expansive reading!

Cici, I did try to make some sort of low brow joke out of where Dave and I were headed with the martini inuendo, but, alas, my muse left me and inspiration ran with her, or him (my muse is non gender specific, really a hermaphrodite) and I was left artistically constipated....so much for flow!

:-D

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 28th at 10:24 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 5:47 AM PST

INT. CASINO - NIGHT

James Bond walks up to the bar, where a gorgeous female bartender (played by Dawn Akemi) stands ready to serve him.

BOND: Martini, please.

The gorgeous female bartender pours the martini, then starts stirring it with a swizzle stick.

BOND: I prefer mine shaken.

BARMAID: Are you referring to your drink or your... swizzle stick, Mr. Bond?

Her eyes flick downward. Bond does a quick double-take, then leans in a little closer.

BOND: Both, as a matter of fact.

BARMAID: I'm quite proficient with a swizzle stick, you know.

James looks her up and down.

BOND: That doesn't surprise me. Would you like to come up to my room and discuss the position further?

The gorgeous female bartender licks her lips.

BARMAID: That depends. Which position do you prefer?

Bond smiles wickedly, raising his drink.

BOND: Bottoms up...

CUT TO

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

...You can fill in the rest.

Last edited by videowilliams on March 29th at 6:02 AM.

cici visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 7:11 AM PST

OH! DAVE!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
BRILLIANT!!!

(laughing and clapping)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 9:26 AM PST

Wow Dave!!....I've never had a role written just for me....

Too bad it's P*O*R*N!!!!

But, thanks!!

I can see the marqee: Dawn Alchemy starring in "Man with the Golden Swizzle Stick"!

My mom will be so proud ;-)

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 29th at 10:14 AM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 12:42 PM PST

I'm sorry it's a wee bit tacky, Dawn. You do deserve better than P*O*R*N. But you know, it's hard with Bond: the Bond girls tend to be about that one-dimensional. In "The Man With The Golden Swizzle Stick" you'd be following in the footsteps of such similarly nuanced characters as Pu$$y Galore, Xenia Onatop, Emily Goodnight, Bambi and Thumper etc. etc.

Anyway, your stalker likes it... Enough said.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!

Last edited by videowilliams on March 29th at 1:08 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:01 PM PST

Eh! I suppose your right. In fact, I'll probably want to bring you on board for the sequel "For Your Swizzle Stick Only"....

Don't forget the very charismatic Anita Head...

How come I keep seeing Kiss Kiss Gang Bang!???????

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 29th at 1:03 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:08 PM PST

Because your mind is more XXX-rated than mine or anyone's!

Anita Head??? Which one was she?

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:10 PM PST

Anita Head and James Bond had a three-way with Ivanna Jerkitov.

And I'm not punnin' around...

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 29th at 1:12 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:12 PM PST

Oh my God... and they let kids see this stuff. No wonder we all grow up so twisted!

Re ANita Head & Jerkitov: give title please? Must borrow that one.

Last edited by videowilliams on March 29th at 1:14 PM.

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:14 PM PST

Oh...and I rather doubt my mind is more XXX-rated than your's or anyone's....

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:15 PM PST

You're already way ahead. I'm laughing too hard to type!

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:15 PM PST

I'll let you make up the title ;-)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:16 PM PST

Oh, I know: "The Spy Who Loved My Swizzle Stick: Reloaded"....

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 29th at 1:19 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:18 PM PST

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:19 PM PST

Oh, I think we're onto a winner.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:20 PM PST

OK, my turn...um...give me a moment....

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:21 PM PST

Swizzlefinger

Licence To Swizzle

Swizzleball

Moonswizzler

On Her Majesty's Secret Swizzle (I think that one's the best).

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:24 PM PST

Those are funny!

But don't forget Swizzle Sticks Last Forever...

and

The Swizzle Stick is Not Enough

Last edited by DawnAkemi on March 29th at 1:25 PM.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:27 PM PST

Swizzle sticks are forever
They are all I need to please me
They can stimulate and tease me
They won't leave in the night,
I've no fear that they might
Desert me...

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:29 PM PST

I don't need love
For what good will love do me?
Swizzle sticks never lie to me
For when love's gone
They lustre on!

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:33 PM PST

It's a wounded man who can write such poetry...

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:34 PM PST

Did we do Live And Let Swizzle?

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:35 PM PST

And you're right, I am so wounded.

Wounded with laughter.

Dear oh dear!

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:37 PM PST

You know I was corrupting the lyrics from the theme song to Diamonds Are Forever, don't you?

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:39 PM PST

Oooops! Missed that one! I guess we saw the boundry to my Bond nerdiness...which really isn't that deep or wide.

I had Googled Bond films and had all the titles in a separate window as reference ;-)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:40 PM PST

I would've got it if I heard you singing cause I know the tune ;-)

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:42 PM PST

Now ya know.

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:44 PM PST

And I was cheating too... I have an album of Great Bond Themes running now...

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:46 PM PST

Reference isn't cheating....it's a writing tool ;-)

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:47 PM PST

Who says a girl can't handle a tool?

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:51 PM PST

...or a swizzle stick!

ba-dump-bump!

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 1:54 PM PST

Oh, baby, you're the best.

In improv, the actors bow toward the audience at this point. Lights go down.

veenotph visit blog


Mar 29, 2007 | 8:50 PM PST

Dr. Swizzle
or perhaps
Dr. Stick (Dr. Schtick?)
Thuderswizzle
Live and let swizzle
and how could you have forgotten Christopher Lee in
The Man with the Golden Swizzle
Goodnight.

:-)

DawnAkemi visit blog


Mar 30, 2007 | 9:42 AM PST

We did do Man with the Golden Swizzle (Stick). Perhaps you missed it....

Digging through several pages of tastelessness for the details is not for everyone's stomach.

;-)

veenotph visit blog


Mar 30, 2007 | 10:53 AM PST

Oh you did, it is the first one. sorry, how tacky.

Was there also "Swizzle renewed?"

How about a little Leone - "The Good, The Bad, and the Swizzle"

Mea culpa about reguirgitating your earlier tawdryness as my own. To make up for it, check out the link on my latest blog. It is about working with actors, one directors way.

(Not mine)

Steven

GriffinLamachy visit blog


Apr 1, 2007 | 12:54 AM PST

Well, now it's April, so I can come out of hiding...plus it seems all of the good Double Oh Swizzle Stick comments are taken. From pain to swizzle sticks...boy, this thread sure did take a lemon twist!

First off, great blog, Miss Alchemy. And I agree...no pain, no gain. Well, actually I believe no pain, no perspective. Comfort is the killer, and it creates complacency. I have found that avoidance of pain only creates more pain down the line...said the chainsmoking pineapple man.

I have a hard time understanding many people involved in the film world, both in the indies and in Hollywood. To them, it's just a job...a cool job, but a job nonetheless. I DO envy their detachment, but I'm the manic-depressive type, so it doesn't work for me. If I'm not emotionally involved with the project, I soon forget the point of it, or that I was even involved. Just like work. It's like being in a loveless relationship, and who wants that?

Edit videowilliams visit blog


Apr 1, 2007 | 4:34 AM PST

I know you want Miss Alchemy, not me, Griff, but I just wanted to thank you for actually reading the thread... I don't think either of us really saw it coming!

DawnAkemi visit blog


Apr 1, 2007 | 10:50 AM PST

Hi Griffy!!!

Yeah, Dave and I got a little nutty over here...Dave's right, it sort of snuck up on us and was really fun ride.

I'm sure if you applied yourself, you'd find a new Bond pun to shake into the mix.

As always, I find my thinking very much in alignment with your comment....though not the chainsmoking part...at least, not anymore....and not tobacco....

I have to say, that without passion, the film world would just be a job...and a difficult, stressful one at that.

Last edited by DawnAkemi on April 1st at 10:54 AM.

GriffinLamachy visit blog


Apr 2, 2007 | 4:08 AM PST

You're right, Dave...I WANT MISS ALCHEMY! Shaken, stirred, with or without olives, I don't care. You might notice my eyes are made of olives...hey! Let go of my eyes! They're for my martini!

DawnAkemi visit blog


Apr 2, 2007 | 10:00 AM PST

What were you saying about my olives?

You pineapples are entirely too fresh!